When I auditioned for The Richter Scales back in August of 2000, it was at Mark Casey's San Francisco apartment, which was not big on space. While I waited for the previous auditionee to finish, I sat outside in the stairwell with a copy of
Our Dumb Century: The Onion Presents 100 Years of Headlines from America's Finest News Source. It was a fine way to pass the time and distract me from my pre-audition anxiety.
Fast forward to last month-- September 14, 2005, to be exact-- when Gillette
announced a new razor. It's called the "Fusion", and it sports not only
five blades but also
two lubricating strips.
Five blades?
If this sounds familiar, it's because you read about it in
The Onion a year and a half earlier. An excerpt:
Stop. I just had a stroke of genius. Are you ready? Open your mouth, baby birds, cause Mama's about to drop you one sweet, fat nightcrawler. Here she comes: Put another aloe strip on that fucker, too. That's right. Five blades, two strips, and make the second one lather. You heard me—the second strip lathers. It's a whole new way to think about shaving. Don't question it. Don't say a word. Just key the music, and call the chorus girls, because we're on the edge—the razor's edge—and I feel like dancing.
-- "Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades" (February 18, 2004)
And they say irony is dead. Ha!